Wednesday, August 19, 2015

31 Staples and hard dates

I had two Dr.s visits yesterday, which ended up taking 5 hours to get thru.  This getting better shit is a full time job.  For my wife...she's the one carting my Oxy induced ass all over the city.
First stop was Dr. Johanson's spleen center.  After they called me around 1PM and said "I know you have an appointment at 3:30 but can you get here right away and we'll fit you in" I arrived there by 2PM and proceeded to wait til sometime after 3 to be seen, then finally some action hit around 3:30PM.  Efficiency.
Doc came in, asked how I was doing, went thru some motions on how he wrestled that "fucking monster" out of me and said I looked skinny.  We asked him how my liver looked, as they also did a biopsy on that.  The initial results that S.C.C.A. had gotten were scary for them.  Said it looked milky, and my Billirubin were highly elevated, whatever that means.  Doc said that my liver was one of the healthiest that he's ever seen.  The milky stuff, is from the Myelofibrosis venturing off, looking at other organs.  "Your livers fine, you got nothing to worry about."  Boom, checked that box.
Then his nurse came in and had me lay down, take my shirt off and started in on my 31 staples by my bellybutton.   Every snap, made a funny noise and then pinched the shit out of me.  I bit down on my teeth and didn't say anything til half way thru when I told Turbo that I needed a break and had to catch my breath.  She said the last guy she had in there cried like a baby when she took his staples out.  I said to her, "you know why he cried?  Cause he's a fucking pussy, now get back at it bitch."  Just kidding.  I was done, and I'm done going there.  Dr. Johanson's box is checked.
Then off to Cancer Care where I got another 3 viles of blood extracted from me before going upstairs to meet with Sonny and Dr. Becker.  Sonny comes in the room with Andrea, Dr. Beckers Physician Assistant.  I guess these guys coordinate and do pre-meetings with patients to try and get a bunch of questions out of the way so when Doc shows up, it's strictly business.  Andrea goes on to tell us that they'll get us hard dates for me to come in for 2 weeks of clinical testing, as well as a hard start date for Chemo.  Then she says that I'll come in for chemo, go home after and come back for my next fix.  Completely opposite of what we've ever heard.
Finally Dr. Becker comes in and is in a great mood and kinda has a personality for this visit.  She tells us about all the nightmare calls she dealt with when I was in the hospital at Swedish.  How those Dr.s wanted to transfer me out of there and to her, for her to care for after they just did the surgery's.  "You want my people to fix your mess, when they don't know the mess you caused?  I don't think so."  Then goes on to say how when I went Neutropenic, which means people were wearing masks around me, no flowers, no outside food, lock down shit, that the Dr. almost gave me this drug that would of fucked up my whole bone marrow transplant.  She was rolling her eyes for a lot of the chat on the care at Swedish, when she sent me there, AND I thought it was pretty good.
Finally she rolls thru my blood work.  Red blood cells, check.  Not gonna need a transfusion today.  White blood cells, check.  Their back and I need to get back on Jakfi until transplant.  Liver functions, check.  All look normal.  "Hey, does that mean I can have a beer again?"  "NO."
Then Becker and Sonny give us some hard dates.  September 8th we enroll in Chemo school.  Here they'll do all the testing on my heart, brain, liver, and other vitals to make sure all is a go and I live thru this treatment.  Then they'll teach Lisa how to care for me, the do's and don't at home and a bunch of other stuff.  We'll be there 4-5 hours a day for two weeks, until we get our diploma.  Then on September 25th, I get admitted to Poison Town.  Where in fact I WILL be admitted and staying in the hospital.  7 days of chemo starting on the 25th, then a day of rest on October 2nd, and new me gets dripped in on October 3rd with the bone marrow transplant.  They say that day is uneventful.  This life changing, life saving miracle shit just sits in a bag, looks like blood and drips into a port into me.  That's it.  No explosion, to ejaculation, no nothing.  Drip, drip, drip...
Then for 3 or so weeks I stay in the hospital on top of that, waiting for things to match, jump in and start working.  This is  what I'm scared about.  4 total weeks in a hospital?  R U Fucking Kidding Me?  That last 8 day stint almost destroyed me.  I learned that hospitals are not for healing that's for sure.  As soon as I got home from this spleen thing, I started healing but there, it was fighting thru it, being enabled, no sleep, comfort or happiness.  Just a 12 X 12 room of misery.  But Becker says I don't have a choice.  I'll be hooked up to drip lines, monitored, tested and watched and I got to do my time to pay for this Myelofibrosis crime.
Fuck me.


  1. You allowed to have the "wonder drug" , CBD's or any other type of weed , to help with nausea?

  2. are u saying you will send him some thc Benny?

  3. I'm just catching up. You fuckers and your cancer have really put my year in a tail spin. We love you down here in LA. I can't believe you guys couldn't get your cancer at separate times so we could actually be around to compare scars. Lotta love for you from our whole family. Remember, chicks dig scars. XO

  4. Just catching up on this and wow dude, you are one tough motherfucker. If I was this "cancer but not cancer" thing I would be scared shitless. Stay strong, hope your family is doing ok.

    1. Oh and the next time you come to utah, lift ticket is on me, seriously