When you love what you do, and who you do it with, it's not called work.
Sunday, Monday and Tuesday was the C3 Olympics, meaning my summer sales meeting with the reps, where I got them everything that they were gonna need from me while being out on this full body makeover.
Hurry up and wait.
Wednesday morning 10:30AM roll into Swedish Hospital, check in, and wait til 2ish to get hauled into another room to wait. About 6:30PM they let me know i should get an epidural for the pain I'm about to have, that I'm gonna get a catheter and they will open me chest to belly button to take out what was in me. I'm awake as their getting the catheter in, and can see them hauling in tons of stainless steel to rip the body open and hold it open. I count backwards and boom, I'm out. The last time I had eaten was Tuesday night around 10PM. Over the next few days I cant piss, cause I got a tube in my hog that does it for me. Can't shit, because my intestines are shut down from being handled, cant drink anything cause they want nothing in the bowels, can't get up because they opened me tip to tail. From Wednesday til Saturday I was in intensive care where you have one nurse, plus a nurses assistant taking care of you and one other persons stuff for a 12 hour shift. Monica, Vicky and this dude Greg were all time. Vicky was a Alabama native, 60+, killer "fuck it" attitude. She gave me back rubs, lot of drugs and my first naked body wash down. Greg was a Seattle native, his wife works research where I'm going next at S.C.C.A. for the doctors that are working on my case and he was a graduate of O'Dea where Milo goes. Funny the he was the one that got to pull the catheter from my wiener. Sorry dude. Monica was the spicy nurse that wasn't fucking around. You were getting great care from her, that's it. She insisted on excellence. These three were so God damn kind, it blows me away. I got freaking tears typing this. To go from ripping around on a lake the day before to a total cripple is pretty humbling, and to be honest, I never expected it. But these three killed it for me. Thank you.
This is what a 13 lb spleen looks like, mine was 12 pounds. There supposed to be 6 ounces.
Getting that shuffle on.
Off to regular care on Saturday, where the nurses have double the donkeys to take care of, so you might see them every hour. Might. I got 4 blood transfusions once I was here cause my red blood cell count was whacked, then a EKG for my heart cause it was fluttering like I had anxiety. I went from the epidural to Morphine with cocktails of other shit. I get 4 blood works done a day, 2 needles in the belly of blood thinner, plus a bunch of other shit. Today I was supposed to get bone marrow pulled from my hip, which is super painful so I had taken a drug induced nap from 1-3PM yesterday, then didn't sleep a wink after. To which time went by so freaking slow. I swear to God, this is what jail feels like, or hell. I was kind of an emotional mess once Lisa left to get Milo ready to go to Mt. Hood today. Just felt like time was standing still and the pain train was here, but way worse than I expected. This no sleeping thing and not being comfortable is absolute hell. But...when it's all doom and gloom shit changes. Doc Sanjay came in and said my white counts were up, and they weren't doing the bone marrow thing today. Plus he ordered me a sleeping pill for tonight. I took a shower, and Lisa trimmed my beard and hair. I walked a shit load of laps here and met Tim, a distance athlete who's heart valves exploded so he was dealing with that. What started like shit, has turned out pretty good. I might get to actually go home tomorrow. Which will present it's own challenges.
Just a mere flesh wound.
But I think Lisa's up for it, as she's been up for everything. She's done every one of the above nurses jobs for them, pointed out shit to the Doctors that they actually did, and has been an invaluable care giver to me. She's slept on the floor or a crappy stool seat, just so she's here every night. She's living the better or worse part of our vows and I'm sorry about that babe. I really am. This sucks, but we'll get thru this.
Dr. Lisa KNOWS what's up.